Funny Bumper Stickers

political bumper sticker

Back in the day, bumper stickers were pretty boring. They'd advertise a politcal candidate or favorite vacation spot. Useful, sure. But, funny? Not so much.

Lucky for us, times have changed. These 81 funny bumper stickers that we found on the backs of cars around town will have you cracking up.

If you have a good one to add to the list, tweet it to us @freeawkwardhugs.
The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.
Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come faster rats.
When you do a good deed get a receipt (in case heaven is like the IRS).
When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Save California: When you leave, take someone with you.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
I go from zero to horny in six beers.
No radio. Already stolen.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Flying saucers are real, it's the Air Force that doesn't exist.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
I is a college student.
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
Horn not working. Watch for finger.
Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished!
There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
My other car is a piece of shit too.
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
Computer Science: Solving today's problems tomorrow.
Philistines demand David be tested for steroids.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
I'm naked from the waist down.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
If it's too loud, you're too old.
Don't get too close, this car has gas.
If the president is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they're OK, you're it.
I love animals. They're yummy!
Department of Redundancy Department.
I bet Jesus would have used his turn signals.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
Hey, you! Out of the gene pool!
Hippies make great pets.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
HELP! The paranoids are after me!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Baby philosophy: If it stinks, change it.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Who cares who's on board?
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I don't want the whole world, just your half.
Dain bramaged.
Taxation with representation isn't so hot, either.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Is there life before coffee?
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
This is not an abandoned vehicle.
I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Sorry for driving so close in front of you.
I don't suffer insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Honk if you love cheeses.
Bosses are like diapers, they are always on your ass and usually full of shit.
It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
Never play leap frog with a unicorn.