Funny Bumper Stickers

political bumper sticker

Back in the day, bumper stickers were pretty boring. They'd advertise a politcal candidate or favorite vacation spot. Useful, sure. But, funny? Not so much.

Lucky for us, times have changed. These 81 funny bumper stickers that we found on the backs of cars around town will have you cracking up.

If you have a good one to add to the list, tweet it to us @freeawkwardhugs.
I don't suffer insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Philistines demand David be tested for steroids.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
I bet Jesus would have used his turn signals.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
I don't want the whole world, just your half.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
When you do a good deed get a receipt (in case heaven is like the IRS).
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished!
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
HELP! The paranoids are after me!
I go from zero to horny in six beers.
Never play leap frog with a unicorn.
Don't get too close, this car has gas.
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Baby philosophy: If it stinks, change it.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
I is a college student.
Dain bramaged.
Sorry for driving so close in front of you.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
No radio. Already stolen.
Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
If it's too loud, you're too old.
Hippies make great pets.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
If the president is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Computer Science: Solving today's problems tomorrow.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.
Is there life before coffee?
Honk if you love cheeses.
I'm naked from the waist down.
When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.
This is not an abandoned vehicle.
My other car is a piece of shit too.
If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
Flying saucers are real, it's the Air Force that doesn't exist.
Department of Redundancy Department.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Who cares who's on board?
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
Hey, you! Out of the gene pool!
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come faster rats.
Save California: When you leave, take someone with you.
Horn not working. Watch for finger.
Bosses are like diapers, they are always on your ass and usually full of shit.
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they're OK, you're it.
Taxation with representation isn't so hot, either.
There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
I love animals. They're yummy!
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?