Awkward Hugs

Funny Bumper Stickers

political bumper sticker

Back in the day, bumper stickers were pretty boring. They'd advertise a politcal candidate or favorite vacation spot. Useful, sure. But, funny? Not so much.

Lucky for us, times have changed. These 81 funny bumper stickers that we found on the backs of cars around town will have you cracking up.

If you have a good one to add to the list, tweet it to us @freeawkwardhugs.
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
HELP! The paranoids are after me!
Hey, you! Out of the gene pool!
The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I go from zero to horny in six beers.
I bet Jesus would have used his turn signals.
I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
Flying saucers are real, it's the Air Force that doesn't exist.
There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Hippies make great pets.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
I love animals. They're yummy!
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Save California: When you leave, take someone with you.
My other car is a piece of shit too.
Who cares who's on board?
Taxation with representation isn't so hot, either.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
I don't want the whole world, just your half.
Dain bramaged.
If it's too loud, you're too old.
I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
Is there life before coffee?
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
Department of Redundancy Department.
Never play leap frog with a unicorn.
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.
When you do a good deed get a receipt (in case heaven is like the IRS).
Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come faster rats.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Philistines demand David be tested for steroids.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished!
I is a college student.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
No radio. Already stolen.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Bosses are like diapers, they are always on your ass and usually full of shit.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
I'm naked from the waist down.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
If the president is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
Horn not working. Watch for finger.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I don't suffer insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
This is not an abandoned vehicle.
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they're OK, you're it.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Sorry for driving so close in front of you.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
Computer Science: Solving today's problems tomorrow.
Baby philosophy: If it stinks, change it.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Don't get too close, this car has gas.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Honk if you love cheeses.
When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.