Funny Bumper Stickers

political bumper sticker

Back in the day, bumper stickers were pretty boring. They'd advertise a politcal candidate or favorite vacation spot. Useful, sure. But, funny? Not so much.

Lucky for us, times have changed. These 81 funny bumper stickers that we found on the backs of cars around town will have you cracking up.

If you have a good one to add to the list, tweet it to us @freeawkwardhugs.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Hey, you! Out of the gene pool!
Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come faster rats.
I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Never play leap frog with a unicorn.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
I is a college student.
When you do a good deed get a receipt (in case heaven is like the IRS).
Don't get too close, this car has gas.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they're OK, you're it.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
I'm naked from the waist down.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
I don't want the whole world, just your half.
This is not an abandoned vehicle.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
Is there life before coffee?
It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished!
Sorry for driving so close in front of you.
No radio. Already stolen.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
HELP! The paranoids are after me!
Horn not working. Watch for finger.
I love animals. They're yummy!
Hippies make great pets.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
Department of Redundancy Department.
Flying saucers are real, it's the Air Force that doesn't exist.
Who cares who's on board?
I go from zero to horny in six beers.
If it's too loud, you're too old.
Philistines demand David be tested for steroids.
Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Honk if you love cheeses.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Save California: When you leave, take someone with you.
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
I bet Jesus would have used his turn signals.
Computer Science: Solving today's problems tomorrow.
Bosses are like diapers, they are always on your ass and usually full of shit.
If the president is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
Taxation with representation isn't so hot, either.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Baby philosophy: If it stinks, change it.
The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
Dain bramaged.
My other car is a piece of shit too.
I don't suffer insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.